I have really struggled with social constructs over the past few years, since I was like 17. So maybe like 5, but the idea that you have to think about the conversation while you're having one takes away every shred of authenticity you have. I felt so removed from every word and I wished I could relate, I just wanted to talk and not think. It happened just often enough to doubt my capabilities.
However yesterday I realized it. I am who I want to be. All of the work, nights of throwing up, and painful conversations have preped me for the place I'm at. Part of the issue was dreaming up myself as a kid and not actually making myself. I would never get there if all the little things didn't matter. Yesterday I met with a director to talk about imagery and my mindset was, "I'm actually there."
Pray for consistency, without it there is no greatness.
Heavy and weird. Krusty and fun.
"Don't tell Mom" -lil Ray